dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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