i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The air was thick with penises
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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