What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my phone needs a breathalizer
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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