Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
