Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
