roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
