For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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