she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize