Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
