doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
