So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
