I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
