toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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