We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
