I'm really into asian looking animals
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
