apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
