we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
