I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize