Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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