maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
