so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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