I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
