I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
