I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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