i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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