I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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