I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
