I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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