Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
