the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
A+ Viking dick
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
