I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
