cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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