Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Those nachos came to me in a dream
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
