im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Ketchup is God's man juice
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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