You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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