What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So vagazzling was a success
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