You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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