We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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