JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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