ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
