If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize