im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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