Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
