Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We had to coat check the pizza.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
