For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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