Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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