There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
