omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
sarcasm needs its own font
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
