yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize