my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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