I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
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