yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
