Whod you bang
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
