i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Operation Purity has been aborted
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
