I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
