I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
