im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
