what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
