Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
