it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
