If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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