But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
