I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize