the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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