he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
